Sweet Young Girl,
The road you are traveling is a rough one, filled with potholes, treacherous terrain, mean and selfish people. You have done nothing to deserve the bad things that have happened. You are not being punished, but you are learning. You are learning a very dangerous way to treat yourself. You are learning to speak to yourself harshly, set unrealistic expectations for yourself and for those you love. On the surface you think you are making yourself better, tougher and surviving on your own terms. My sweet girl, you are making for a tough lonely life.
I know that you feel so much love, that is not returned. You feel so much pain that feels unbearable. If only there were something you could buy, or someone who could fill that space all of the fear, anxiety and pain would go away. I know you don’t see what you are doing. I know you think if you are perfect everything will be perfect. If you are funny enough, thin enough, smart enough, perfect enough all the past will go away and you will only be happy.
I can’t say it will be easy, but you will make it through all of the pain, fear and harm that has come to you. YOU ARE STRONG! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! YOU ARE SMART! YOU DON’T NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO BE THOSE THINGS…YOU ARE AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN ALL OF THOSE THINGS!
When you feel like it is all too much, read this letter. Know that there are amazing people coming into your life who will love you until you can love yourself. They will love you exactly the way you are. Remember the best thing you can do is ask for help. I know it’s hard, but it means you are strong, not weak. It means you are courageous! You can trust again. There are people out there worthy of your love.
Most importantly, YOU ARE WORTHY OF YOUR LOVE!! You are such an amazing woman and you can’t even see it. You will see it. I promise you! It will start out being reflected to you by other people. You have a light and a love that radiates from your soul. You are smart, kind, beautiful, loving and when you accept all of those things about yourself, your life just becomes full, peaceful, and there aren’t any words for the amount of love you will have coming to you and from you.
You keep trudging the road of happy destiny and you will make some of the most amazing friends. You are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. You will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. You will comprehend the word serenity and know peace. You will see how all of your experiences will benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. Self seeking will slip away. You whole attitude and outlook on life will change. Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave you. You will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle you. You will suddenly realize that God is doing for you what you could not do for yourself. (AA the promises)
Know that the best part of your life is yet to come! Trust your gut! Hang in there! I will see you soon.
All my love,